The weird/awkward/funny/confusing/ridiculous things people say to me

I've always felt like I'm the kind of person people don't tell frivolous things to, but I guess I was wrong. Log that in the book of things I've learned at college. So without further adieu, the first installment of the "weird/awkward/funny/confusing/ridiculous things people say to me".

1. "It doesn't look like you had any trouble with the freshman fifteen!"

I'm a CUStar, which basically means I'm a tour guide. Yes, I walk backwards(only sometimes!) and wear the dorky, non-fitting polos, but I like it because people ask me the weirdest questions and say some weird stuff. Like the mom of the young man I gave a tour to two weeks ago. We walked into the dining hall and I was explaining the various meal plans when the Mom went, somewhat jokingly, "Oh, so I guess this is where you gain the freshman fifteen". I know she meant it as a joke or side comment, but then she followed that with "Well, it doesn't look like you were affected by the freshman fifteen!". And that's when things got a little weird. I mean it's true, the freshman fifteen didn't affect me, or anyone I know for that matter. I think this mom just had a classic case of word vomit. It was just one of those thoughts that somehow slipped past her "don't say this out loud" filter and her mind couldn't reel in fast enough before she spoke it. So to that lovely mother from two weeks ago: Thank you for the compliment(I think), and keep working on that filter.

2. "What qualities do you look for in a spouse? What would you name your children?"

Both of these questions were attendance questions posed in by my philosophy. Now normally these questions would be a little weird outside of a classroom setting, but it gets even more awkward when you're in a classroom, and the class is taught by a Jesuit priest. Most people didn't think these questions were weird, but come on, how is it not weird for a guy who can neither get married, nor have kids, to ask a bunch of 18 and 19 year olds what they think their future life will look like. Is he trying to live vicariously through us...? I just think it's ridiculous for people so young to be thinking seriously about this kind of stuff. I find my philosophy professor to be pretty ridiculous, and to be somewhat offensive as well, but that's a story for another time.

3. "peanut butter dipping station"

This, believe it or not, was said by my philosophy professor. I find that he says a lot of odd things. I don't really remember what we were talking about, but I do remember that he, the professor, was deliberately trying to make a sexual innuendo. Pretty creepy coming from a portly guy in his 50s who has vowed to be celibate...

Have you enjoyed the first edition of "the weird/awkward/funny/confusing/ridiculous things people say to me"? I'm sure you will now start to notice all the odd things people say to you now. Seriously though, if you really think about it, it's amazing what people will say out loud.

Leah