Things you should never have to apologize for, feel bad about, or have to explain to anyone

• Saying no sometimes
• I'm looking at you, gross guys at parties/fraternities. 
• Wanting to be alone sometimes
• Sometimes you just need a mental health day titled "Me, Myself, & I"
• Not being sure about your life career
• Don't worry, you'll get there, wherever or whatever "there" turns out to be
• Deciding to study instead of going out
• Don't sacrifice a grade for one night, you'll feel better about yourself in the morning.
• Deciding to go out instead of study
• The other side of the previous point is, have a freaking life. Don't study every night of the week. You've got to have some good college stories to tell your grandkids. 
• Getting rid of the toxic people in your life
• It will be difficult, and it may take some time, but you cannot let someone influence your life in a negative way. You just can't. 
• Ending a relationship that is hurting you
• You owe it yourself to leave behind something that no longer benefits you, especially if that thing is hurting you. You may think you love this person, but real love does not inflict pain or fear. Real love drives out fear. 
• Not liking the things everyone else likes
• Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. 
• Not liking someone, even if the reason is "just because"
• I wish more people realized this. I recently answered the question "Why don't you like him?" with "just because" and I swear the girl who was interrogating me seemed so offended. When it comes to love, or even just liking someone, you can't help the way you feel, and there's often to rhyme or reason to it. 
• Not wanting children
• When I tell someone I don't like children and probably won't have children, they look at me as if I just slapped a baby. Look, you may be baby crazy, but I am not. It's just who I am. I was not put on this earth to be a mother. Get over it. 
• Taste in music, movies, etc. 
• If someone is going to judge you for liking a band or movie, they are definitely not someone you should ever spend more than 5 minutes with. 

If you judge or have judged anyone for any of the above reasons, you are probably a person no one wants to hang out with. But really, get over yourself. 

Leah

The Perils of Being Home for Vacation

While I'm home on break I like to think I'm healthy and whatnot so I could to the gym quite a bit. The bad thing about going to the gym in my hometown though, is that I see people I went to high school with. Every time I see an old classmate I desperately hope that they don't notice me. It's always especially awkward when I don't know whether or not said old classmate remembers who I am. The following are the general categories into which I've filed these people.

1. Cocky guys
You know the ones. The guys with the home made man tanks that are cut extra so as to showcase their *non-existent* abs. The guys that spend more time looking in the mirror than they actually do working out. Also, they are always at the gym with 7 of their friends. All they do though if watch each other lift and spot each other and participate in other ridiculous activities. You know, girls may go to the bathroom in packs, but boys go to the gym in herds. The cockiest of the cocky though, is Ted. Ted is on the Harvard rowing team and wants absolutely everyone to know it. It's not enough to just go on the rowing machine, he must also wear his rowing onesy that had "HARVARD ROWING TEAM" emblazoned on it. I mean seriously, what is wrong with plain shorts? Is the chaffing really that bad? I mean sure, it's a great accomplishment to go to Harvard and be on the rowing team and whatever, but come on. There's definitely something to be said for modesty. He's like one half of those annoying twins from that Facebook movie.

2. Annoying Bitches
There's really no other way to describe them. These are the girls who do their hair and makeup just to go to the gym, and are always wearing the latest in gym fashion which is always neon colored. These girls usually just walk on the treadmill side by side while gossiping about old high school stories as well as anyone who dares walk too close to them. Girls in this category only go to the gym to be seen, and hopefully hit on, by the cocky guys described above. But of course, annoying bitches flirt with all the male personal trainers, when really they are just fishing for compliments. Basically these are the girls who go to the gym to say they go to the gym, when really they aren't actually doing anything at the gym.

3. What the....
Those people that you think you recognize but aren't quite sure if it's actually them so you spend the majority of your time creeping on them to try to figure out exactly who they are. Basically this category turns me into a stage five creeper. The worst is when they notice you staring and you then have to act like you were looking at something else or, in my case, proceed to immediately be embarrassed and never look in their direction again.

4. Teachers
Subcategory: Things that cannot be unseen
I do not want to see teachers outside of school. I like to think that they live at school and their sole purpose in life is to educate apathetic youths. But no, that is not the case. It's terrifying really, to see a teacher in real life. Especially if it's a teacher you didn't like. So you, or I in this case, spend my workout hiding out from the teacher. It's actually a workout in itself to avoid people at the gym. The worst though, is seeing your old principle at the gym. There really are no words for the trauma this causes.

When you work out with strangers it's sort of a camaraderie thing, everyone is sweaty and nasty but that's ok, because there's no judgment. But in the presence of any of the aforementioned people, the gym becomes an even more torturous experience.

So long story short, I'm going to get a home gym.

Leah

Rosie the Who?

Yes, I'm alive. Yes, I know it's been a very long time. What can I say? College takes up quite a bit of time. I can't believe I'm already done with my first semester of sophomore year. College really does go quickly.
That being said, being in college seems to trigger some sort of marital/maternal instinct in a lot of people. People seem to think that they have to meet their spouse in college. If they don't meet said spouse, then they will become that character in every romantic comedy about the hot mess main character that just can't seem to get their life together. Sidebar: this character usually ends up with some really attractive person, so whose the real winner here? Anyway, I live with three other girls, and I experience this almost daily. Don't get me wrong I love my roommates, but sometimes I feel like I should put them in a mental institution, although I'm sure they feel the same way about me a majority of the time. That's beside the point though, what I realize almost everyday is how different my ambitions are from those of my roommates. For example, Sam wants to be a dentist. But what seems more important to her is being a wife and mother. Don't get me wrong being a wife and mother is a perfectly honorable ambition, but what scares me is the timeline in which Sam wants to accomplish all this. She wants to get married before her last year of dental school. but before she gets married she wants to be engaged for a year, and also have been dating for approximately 1.5-2 years. Oh, and she also has the names picked out for the three children she wants to have. (Two boys and a girl, in case you were wondering). Now if my math is correct Sam would have to meet her would-be husband in the next year. My other roommates have similar, although not as meticulously planned out, timelines for themselves. If I asked them all the question "Where do you see yourself in five years?" their first words would all be the same, they would all begin their answer with "married with children". I mean besides being a super boring answer, am I the only one who thinks that getting married and having kids shouldn't be a person's sole purpose or goal in life? Whatever happened to women in the work place? To women having as much influence in the world as men? Does no one remember Rosie the Riveter? I for one believe that having a career is more important than having children or being married. Whenever a girl tells me that "they were put on this earth to be a mother" all I can think is "really? That's it? That's all you were meant to do with your life? That's just sad." Maybe that's me being cynical and whatnot, but it's what I believe. If college has taught me anything, it's that my ambitions are very different than those of most of the people around me. I can't stand it when I feel like people settle or sacrifice their happiness just to check another thing off their timeline. When you really think about it, what dictates the timeline or lives follow? Yes, you can plan all you want. You can say you're going to be married by 25 and start a family by 27 but what happens when you turn 24 and you're single? Are you going to settle for the next person that comes along? What if that person isn't "the one"? Do you tell yourself over and over again that you love this person and are happy with them until you convince yourself that you really are in love with this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them? Maybe that's the reason why so many couples are getting divorced. They get married under the ruse of love, when in reality they are desperately trying to follow their self-made timeline, then after a few years and a few kids, they realize that they really don't love their spouse. People make it seem like there's no worse fate than being alone or unmarried. But what's worse, being married to a person you don't love, or being "alone" and able to decide your own fate? I think that the moment people decide to follow their timeline instead of following their heart is the moment they decide to possibly sacrifice their happiness. Making these timelines for ourselves is completely pointless. We can plan all we want, but the world has it's own way of going about things, and the universe does not give one once of gravity to your plans. The universe has bigger things to worry about. The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition. So work hard and let life take you where it may. Ive found that some of the best things in my life came about from deviating from the timeline. These timelines may come from tradition, but screw that. So far tradition hasn't really gotten us anywhere.

So I'll leave the meticulous planning to my roommates and anyone else who wants bother with it. As for me, I have goals and ambitions, but if I've learned anything by now, it's that all I can do is work hard stay focused. And I'm not knocking people who want to get married and have kids. I'm sure that's a goal for many people, not just women. But for me, I want more. I always have. As for what "more" looks like, I'm not sure.

So please, think about what you really want out of your life. But if I may ask one thing of you, let it be that you have the courage to pursue and seek out a life that will make you (and I really do mean you in the most selfish way possible) happy. Be that person at the annual Christmas party who everyone wants to talk to because your life is more interesting than theirs. Be the person who traveled the world or wrote the novel or researched the cure for some disease. Don't be the boring person in the corner showing off the pictures of their child on the soccer team that no one wants to look at but are too polite to say anything about it.

The universe may have it's own plans, but we as people have the power to dictate our own lives. Make your own decisions, start your own newer, cooler, better traditions. You can never go wrong if you follow your heart.

Here's to the future,
Leah

Things That Anger Me

I make it a point not to use the word "hate." I think it's an awful word that's led to some really horrible and devastating things, and I don't really think that you can really and truly hate anything. Do you have any idea how all-consuming hating something is? Hate means you are more than willing to physically hurt someone, that you would enjoy watching someone suffer. So it really bothers me when someone says "I really hate my teacher" or "I hate it when my phone dies" or some other crap like that because no, you don't hate those things. Sure, your teacher may be a hardass and yes, it is annoying when your phone dies, but those things are nowhere near being worthy of hate. Nothing should be. Using the word "hate" simply means you're too lazy to think of an accurate descriptor.
Hate leads to riots and violence and innocent people dying. Have you seen what's happening in Libya? That's hate. Your teacher docking you points because you slacked off on an assignment is them doing their job. They should not in any way be hated for that. So it's a real pet peeve of mine when people use the word "hate," because it's not just a word, it's an action and a mindset. Hate is meant to put people down and deny them their basic rights. And there are far too many instances of hate that go on everyday.
Which leads me to the inspiration for this post, which I found while procrastinating on Tumblr.

Let me just say that I like Anderson Cooper. You can always tell how dangerous of a situation he is in based on what he is wearing. Normal day? Suit and tie. Somewhat dangerous situation? Casual button down and khakis. In the field covering a fire fight? Child size white t-shirt, because everyone knows that tiny t-shirts will protect you against stray bullets.

Anyway, I love that Anderson Cooper has the gall to say that to this awful woman. And in my opinion, he's right. And I really admire him for standing up for gay people. Anti-gay people really bother me. I really do not understand what is wrong about being gay. yeah it might be considered strange or weird, but there is nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender. What I find most appalling about this situation is that a pastor of all people, someone who is supposed to be supportive and a voice of God or whatever is advocating, and even arguing for the death of millions of people by saying that "gays and lesbians should "die out." I mean, how horrific of a person must he be to think something like that? The thought that people like that pastor, and like the woman in this clip exist kind of makes me not want to get out of bed in the morning.
The arguments people use for being anti-gay are so stupid and so archaic that I can barely stand it.
For example, people  really think the Bible is a good reference for being anti-gay? Well in the Bible God killed thousands of people, including innocent children. He also told Abraham that if he wanted to keep his covenant, he had to murder his son. And don't even try to use the argument that God saved Isaac at the last minute-- no good or true God would ever ask one of his followers to harm their child. That's just messed up. Sidebar: Can we please stop using the "God" argument in politics? It does not matter if God is on the side of a candidate or not. I don't know if you've noticed, but neither God, nor Jesus, has ever endorsed a candidate and I don't think they will any time soon. The other thing people bring up in arguing against allowing gay marriage is the "sanctity of marriage."The sanctity of marriage? Yeah, I don't really think that ever existed. "Sanctity" means to be holy or sacred, and call me crazy but I don't think waking up next to the same people for 20 years or being listed as the first emergency contact counts as being sacred. Important? Yes. Sacred? No. You think that cute two day marriage Britney Spears had really upheld the sanctity of marriage? Or what about divorce? Does that uphold the sanctity of marriage. Other people say it's wrong to be gay. No it's not. It's wrong to dislike someone or think less of them, or even think that they are going to hell, without even knowing a single thing about them.
The way I see it, gay people should be allowed to do anything straight people can do, include getting married. (Further, why are we so focused on being gay or straight? Can't we just be people?)
So what if gay couples want to get married? Let them! If they want to subject themselves to the same monotonous love life that straight couples are always complaining about, who are we to stop them?
For me, legalizing gay marriage would have two consequences.

1. Gay people will get married
2. The economy will benefit enormously

And that's it. No apocalypse, no fiery vengeance from above or whatever. Just gay people who love each other getting married. And hey, they will pay to rent a church or a venue and pay a caterer and buy flowers from a florist and do all those things that "normal" couples do. Just look at New York, gay marriage was legalized there and the state of New York made 259 million dollars. Yes, I did just say 259 MILLION dollars. Can you image what other states could do with that money? A lot. That's the answer to that question.

And don't even get me started on the raising children aspect of gay marriages, because that's a whole other topic, but I will leave you will two thoughts.

Gay people don't produce gay children, straight people do.

Simba was essentially raised by two men, and he turned out just fine. Think about it.

I realize this post got a little more serious than my past ones, but I couldn't help it. The nerve of Anderson Cooper inspired me.

So please, be tolerant, be nice, and don't use the word "hate."

Leah

P.S- I now have the strong urge to watch "The Lion King".....

Taylor Freaking Swift

So I just spent roughly 4 minutes of my life watching the video for "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," and believe me, it was not time well spent. I kept thinking "I should be studying right now" or "this is so stupid why am I still watching this" and my favorite "what am I doing with my life?" Yes, watching a Taylor Swift music video made me question my own personal pursuits. But I still couldn't look away.
Watching that video left me a lot of questions though. Where does she find these guys do date and then dump? And what is she doing that makes all these guys dump her? And honestly, if Taylor Swift, who is arguably one of the prettier people in the world, can't maintain a boyfriend then there is probably no hope whatsoever for the rest of us. My guess is that even though she is gorgeous, she has got some issues. Someone once told me that there is a direct relationship between how attractive a person is and how crazy they are. So while Ms. Swift may appear to be the sweetest country belle around, she's probably knitting matching monogrammed sweaters while planning the wedding two weeks into a relationship. I can't help but feel like she is one of those girls who wants every day she dates to be "the one" or whatever and they will fall madly in love and it will look exactly like one of her music videos. The ones about love, that is.
I mean seriously, the girl has had more storybook romances than Disneyland, which is not only not fair, but is also impossible. Hence the need to go around burning pictures and being incredibly passive aggressive while also brazenly cutting her exes down to size. I will give her that, she has got some nerve to write so many songs about her exes. I think though, that this will back fire on her, if it hasn't already. She will begin to only date guys that want a song written about them. As in they will lead her on, date her for a bit, dump her unceremoniously, then get a song written about them. And then they will be able to brag about it to all their friends. Yeah some people not not like them, but those people are 15 year old girls. The other way this will begin to back fire is that Taylor Swift will simply become undateable. Sure, she will always be beautiful, but soon enough guys will just not want to put about with her and her clinginess, and just won't think it's worth it if they are only going to get a song written about them. So my advice to Ms. Swift would be to calm it down on the boy-bashing songs. If she keeps writing these songs, no one is going to want to date her, and then she won't have any more songs to write, then she will be out of a job. And that's when people start collecting cats. Maybe she could write the jingles for the meow mix commercials. But if you ask me, that's a bit of a step down from selling out arenas and world tours.
But in all honestly, everyone has listened to a Taylor Swift song and been able to relate to it completely, that's why she's so popular. She can never get married though, she would run out of things/guys to write about.
So here's to Taylor Swift, and more importantly, the guys who have dumped her. Without those jerks, we wouldn't have her.

Leah

P.S- Bonjour France! I love your food. And pretty much everything about you.
P.P.S- Can't forget about Malaysia. Although I have to say, seeing you guys in the audience was a little surprising, but I'm very glad to have you. Come back soon, and tell your friends.

Dating in College

Let me just start this out with the admission that I am not like most girls, trust me on this. I have never had a real boyfriend, never been "taken home to meet the parents" and have never introduced any guy to my parents. Hell, the only boys I really spent time with this summer were my horses. This admission doesn't bother me all that much, although it sets me apart from a lot of the girls I go to school with who think their weekend is a bust if they didn't hook up with anyone. Yeah, don't let the Jesuit Catholic thing fool you. College girls, for the most part, are college girls. Anyway, given this information about me I still find that people generally come to me for relationship advice. Why? I have no idea. Do I look like a relationship expert? For example, one of my suit mates recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years, and has embarked on a new conquest. Side note: my suit mate is one of the nicest people I know. She's pretty quiet, but the moment she told me "when it comes to boys, I like them dark," was the moment I knew she's got a little bit of a dark side. But every time something happens with Ramon she comes into my room to ask what she should text him back or to give me the details of her latest conversation with him. Every time this happens I just look at her like "why are you asking me this? Who do you think I am, Cosmo?" and I just answer her in the most logical way I can think of. Is that it? Do people think I'm great at relationships or whatever because their minds are so clouded with love/lust that they can't think straight? The world may never know. But in my time as a relationship guide, I have found that there are several kinds of couples.

1. The Forevers

You know the couple, the people that met the first week of college at the ice cream social and haven't looked back since. One of my closest friends went through this. But with a twist, she met her "soul mate" while dating his room mate...just a little awkward. Anyway, for weeks I had to hear about wonderful and great her new boyfriend was and about how amazing it was that they had matching freckles on their hands and what they want to name their kids and on and on it went until I was seriously considering throwing myself off the closest lofted bed to end my suffering. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for my friend and am glad she's found someone, but come on, I just don't think it's possible to know that you want to marry someone when you're 19. Not only that, but when you're a freshman in college. Who knows where your life will take you? What if you get jobs in different cities? Does one person have to sacrifice an amazing opportunity just to be with the other person? Smells like future resentment to me. My apprehension with the "forever" couples is that if you get married right after college, then you basically only know your life with the other person, and what if being with that other person limits your perspective? You know it's true too, that's why every movie about couples and love has that couple that's been together forever that resents each other because that's just it, they've been together forever and are tired of each other. I'm sure the idea of spending your life with someone seems appealing to many, but it scares the hell out of me. But maybe that's because I can barely commit to a sweater or e-mailing someone back, let alone being legally bonded to someone 'til death do us part. 

2. The Clingers

The couple that wants to be the forever couple, but at hopelessly incompatible. Maybe they met at a sports game where the prissy girl who hates sports wanted to meet a cute baseball player. Or maybe they met while they were both pre-med or pre-law and one is trying to be a gold digger who is now a management major. Whatever the reason, there are those couples who just stick around too long, who get too comfortable and don't want to change their routine. The thing about these couples though, is that they usually hate each other. They are usually so different that the only thing that brought them together was the feeling of "I can be anyone I want to be in college!" which is true to a certain extent in the sense that your high school reputation may be forgotten, but it doesn't mean that you can totally reinvent yourself. We are who we are. So clingers, get yourself together and get the courage to not be in a bad relationship anymore, you're better than that(usually). 

3. The Lingerers

Very similar to the clingers, but with an added element of baseness. These couples are just waiting for the other one to break up with them so they don't have to seem like the bad guy, but at the same time they are seeing people on the side. It's pretty awkward really. Is it really that hard to break up with someone? Once again, man up and save some face. You've only got one, you know. 

4. The Haters

You know that couple, the one who, when the other isn't around, constantly bitch and moan about what stupid/awful thing the other person did recently. These couples are usually made up of a douchebag guy and a girl who likes "bad boys." I think this is the couple I despise the most, because the girl is clearly trying to "change" the guy and the guy just knows that he can copy a poem off the internet, tell her he's sorry and that she's beautiful and "the only girl for me" and then everything will be forgotten. I'm pretty sure relationships like this happen because of romantic comedies, romance novels, and "Twilight", because every girl wants to be the girl that tames the bad boy/recluse/supernatural being. Think about it, who doesn't want to be that person that gets the guy/girl that no one else can get? It's why girls love movies like "Cinderella" and "Beauty and the Beast", because they are that special quality that makes a super handsome and rich guy finally want to change his ways. The thing about that though, is that things like that don't happen. The rich guys are pimply nerds who would do anything for a pretty girl to cough on them, and the handsome guys are the jerks who treat girls like dirt. So girls, if you're dating a loser in college, dump him immediately, and for good this time. Don't listen to any of that "I'll change I swear" crap. And if you're a jerk reading this, you probably don't know you're a jerk because you think the way you act can be classified as "swag" or some other complete nonsense. You are also cordially invited to never read this blog again. 

If you belong in any of these categories, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship, and probably your life. What's wrong with being single? I've been single my entire life and I'm no worse off for it. I don't have any of those "trust issues" girls are always going on about. And I've never had to have a picture burning session(I'm talking to you, Taylor Swift). Coincidentally, every one of these couples may be accompanied by a Taylor Swift song, because she is the voice of our passive aggressive/bi-polar/somewhat psychotic generation. 

I hope this rather lengthy post has made up for my lack of posts lately. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did. 

So here's to "the ones that got away,"

Leah

P.S- Nice to see you again, Russia

P.P.S-I would like to extend a warm welcome to Australia, making their first appearance on my blog audience listing. Hey, did you guys actually like Steve Irwin, or was he kind of annoying, like he's your Kim Kardashian? 

Too soon? 

I have brillant friends

Those moments where you think "wow I'm glad I know this person" is probably one of the best feelings ever. Really it should go right up there on the list next to waking up on a rainy day and being able to enjoy the sound of the rain on your window while you fall back asleep, or when a stranger gives you a compliment. I had one of those moments recently. I was talking to a good friend of mine about starting school again, and my general disdain for tacky freshman, when she provided me with this brilliant idea:

Believe me I know it sounds morbid, but
come on, how can you not laugh?

Anyone who has been anything older than a college freshman knows exactly what I'm talking about. And freshman, let this be a lesson to you-- do not wear a lanyard, you look like what you are trying desperately not to look like. 

I know I've been absent for far too long, but fear not, being back at college has already given me plenty of material. 

So here's to great friends who make you laugh when you need it most. 

Leah