Yes, I'm alive. Yes, I know it's been a very long time. What can I say? College takes up quite a bit of time. I can't believe I'm already done with my first semester of sophomore year. College really does go quickly.
That being said, being in college seems to trigger some sort of marital/maternal instinct in a lot of people. People seem to think that they have to meet their spouse in college. If they don't meet said spouse, then they will become that character in every romantic comedy about the hot mess main character that just can't seem to get their life together. Sidebar: this character usually ends up with some really attractive person, so whose the real winner here? Anyway, I live with three other girls, and I experience this almost daily. Don't get me wrong I love my roommates, but sometimes I feel like I should put them in a mental institution, although I'm sure they feel the same way about me a majority of the time. That's beside the point though, what I realize almost everyday is how different my ambitions are from those of my roommates. For example, Sam wants to be a dentist. But what seems more important to her is being a wife and mother. Don't get me wrong being a wife and mother is a perfectly honorable ambition, but what scares me is the timeline in which Sam wants to accomplish all this. She wants to get married before her last year of dental school. but before she gets married she wants to be engaged for a year, and also have been dating for approximately 1.5-2 years. Oh, and she also has the names picked out for the three children she wants to have. (Two boys and a girl, in case you were wondering). Now if my math is correct Sam would have to meet her would-be husband in the next year. My other roommates have similar, although not as meticulously planned out, timelines for themselves. If I asked them all the question "Where do you see yourself in five years?" their first words would all be the same, they would all begin their answer with "married with children". I mean besides being a super boring answer, am I the only one who thinks that getting married and having kids shouldn't be a person's sole purpose or goal in life? Whatever happened to women in the work place? To women having as much influence in the world as men? Does no one remember Rosie the Riveter? I for one believe that having a career is more important than having children or being married. Whenever a girl tells me that "they were put on this earth to be a mother" all I can think is "really? That's it? That's all you were meant to do with your life? That's just sad." Maybe that's me being cynical and whatnot, but it's what I believe. If college has taught me anything, it's that my ambitions are very different than those of most of the people around me. I can't stand it when I feel like people settle or sacrifice their happiness just to check another thing off their timeline. When you really think about it, what dictates the timeline or lives follow? Yes, you can plan all you want. You can say you're going to be married by 25 and start a family by 27 but what happens when you turn 24 and you're single? Are you going to settle for the next person that comes along? What if that person isn't "the one"? Do you tell yourself over and over again that you love this person and are happy with them until you convince yourself that you really are in love with this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them? Maybe that's the reason why so many couples are getting divorced. They get married under the ruse of love, when in reality they are desperately trying to follow their self-made timeline, then after a few years and a few kids, they realize that they really don't love their spouse. People make it seem like there's no worse fate than being alone or unmarried. But what's worse, being married to a person you don't love, or being "alone" and able to decide your own fate? I think that the moment people decide to follow their timeline instead of following their heart is the moment they decide to possibly sacrifice their happiness. Making these timelines for ourselves is completely pointless. We can plan all we want, but the world has it's own way of going about things, and the universe does not give one once of gravity to your plans. The universe has bigger things to worry about. The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition. So work hard and let life take you where it may. Ive found that some of the best things in my life came about from deviating from the timeline. These timelines may come from tradition, but screw that. So far tradition hasn't really gotten us anywhere.
So I'll leave the meticulous planning to my roommates and anyone else who wants bother with it. As for me, I have goals and ambitions, but if I've learned anything by now, it's that all I can do is work hard stay focused. And I'm not knocking people who want to get married and have kids. I'm sure that's a goal for many people, not just women. But for me, I want more. I always have. As for what "more" looks like, I'm not sure.
So please, think about what you really want out of your life. But if I may ask one thing of you, let it be that you have the courage to pursue and seek out a life that will make you (and I really do mean you in the most selfish way possible) happy. Be that person at the annual Christmas party who everyone wants to talk to because your life is more interesting than theirs. Be the person who traveled the world or wrote the novel or researched the cure for some disease. Don't be the boring person in the corner showing off the pictures of their child on the soccer team that no one wants to look at but are too polite to say anything about it.
The universe may have it's own plans, but we as people have the power to dictate our own lives. Make your own decisions, start your own newer, cooler, better traditions. You can never go wrong if you follow your heart.
Here's to the future,
Leah
