Dating in College

Let me just start this out with the admission that I am not like most girls, trust me on this. I have never had a real boyfriend, never been "taken home to meet the parents" and have never introduced any guy to my parents. Hell, the only boys I really spent time with this summer were my horses. This admission doesn't bother me all that much, although it sets me apart from a lot of the girls I go to school with who think their weekend is a bust if they didn't hook up with anyone. Yeah, don't let the Jesuit Catholic thing fool you. College girls, for the most part, are college girls. Anyway, given this information about me I still find that people generally come to me for relationship advice. Why? I have no idea. Do I look like a relationship expert? For example, one of my suit mates recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years, and has embarked on a new conquest. Side note: my suit mate is one of the nicest people I know. She's pretty quiet, but the moment she told me "when it comes to boys, I like them dark," was the moment I knew she's got a little bit of a dark side. But every time something happens with Ramon she comes into my room to ask what she should text him back or to give me the details of her latest conversation with him. Every time this happens I just look at her like "why are you asking me this? Who do you think I am, Cosmo?" and I just answer her in the most logical way I can think of. Is that it? Do people think I'm great at relationships or whatever because their minds are so clouded with love/lust that they can't think straight? The world may never know. But in my time as a relationship guide, I have found that there are several kinds of couples.

1. The Forevers

You know the couple, the people that met the first week of college at the ice cream social and haven't looked back since. One of my closest friends went through this. But with a twist, she met her "soul mate" while dating his room mate...just a little awkward. Anyway, for weeks I had to hear about wonderful and great her new boyfriend was and about how amazing it was that they had matching freckles on their hands and what they want to name their kids and on and on it went until I was seriously considering throwing myself off the closest lofted bed to end my suffering. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for my friend and am glad she's found someone, but come on, I just don't think it's possible to know that you want to marry someone when you're 19. Not only that, but when you're a freshman in college. Who knows where your life will take you? What if you get jobs in different cities? Does one person have to sacrifice an amazing opportunity just to be with the other person? Smells like future resentment to me. My apprehension with the "forever" couples is that if you get married right after college, then you basically only know your life with the other person, and what if being with that other person limits your perspective? You know it's true too, that's why every movie about couples and love has that couple that's been together forever that resents each other because that's just it, they've been together forever and are tired of each other. I'm sure the idea of spending your life with someone seems appealing to many, but it scares the hell out of me. But maybe that's because I can barely commit to a sweater or e-mailing someone back, let alone being legally bonded to someone 'til death do us part. 

2. The Clingers

The couple that wants to be the forever couple, but at hopelessly incompatible. Maybe they met at a sports game where the prissy girl who hates sports wanted to meet a cute baseball player. Or maybe they met while they were both pre-med or pre-law and one is trying to be a gold digger who is now a management major. Whatever the reason, there are those couples who just stick around too long, who get too comfortable and don't want to change their routine. The thing about these couples though, is that they usually hate each other. They are usually so different that the only thing that brought them together was the feeling of "I can be anyone I want to be in college!" which is true to a certain extent in the sense that your high school reputation may be forgotten, but it doesn't mean that you can totally reinvent yourself. We are who we are. So clingers, get yourself together and get the courage to not be in a bad relationship anymore, you're better than that(usually). 

3. The Lingerers

Very similar to the clingers, but with an added element of baseness. These couples are just waiting for the other one to break up with them so they don't have to seem like the bad guy, but at the same time they are seeing people on the side. It's pretty awkward really. Is it really that hard to break up with someone? Once again, man up and save some face. You've only got one, you know. 

4. The Haters

You know that couple, the one who, when the other isn't around, constantly bitch and moan about what stupid/awful thing the other person did recently. These couples are usually made up of a douchebag guy and a girl who likes "bad boys." I think this is the couple I despise the most, because the girl is clearly trying to "change" the guy and the guy just knows that he can copy a poem off the internet, tell her he's sorry and that she's beautiful and "the only girl for me" and then everything will be forgotten. I'm pretty sure relationships like this happen because of romantic comedies, romance novels, and "Twilight", because every girl wants to be the girl that tames the bad boy/recluse/supernatural being. Think about it, who doesn't want to be that person that gets the guy/girl that no one else can get? It's why girls love movies like "Cinderella" and "Beauty and the Beast", because they are that special quality that makes a super handsome and rich guy finally want to change his ways. The thing about that though, is that things like that don't happen. The rich guys are pimply nerds who would do anything for a pretty girl to cough on them, and the handsome guys are the jerks who treat girls like dirt. So girls, if you're dating a loser in college, dump him immediately, and for good this time. Don't listen to any of that "I'll change I swear" crap. And if you're a jerk reading this, you probably don't know you're a jerk because you think the way you act can be classified as "swag" or some other complete nonsense. You are also cordially invited to never read this blog again. 

If you belong in any of these categories, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship, and probably your life. What's wrong with being single? I've been single my entire life and I'm no worse off for it. I don't have any of those "trust issues" girls are always going on about. And I've never had to have a picture burning session(I'm talking to you, Taylor Swift). Coincidentally, every one of these couples may be accompanied by a Taylor Swift song, because she is the voice of our passive aggressive/bi-polar/somewhat psychotic generation. 

I hope this rather lengthy post has made up for my lack of posts lately. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did. 

So here's to "the ones that got away,"

Leah

P.S- Nice to see you again, Russia

P.P.S-I would like to extend a warm welcome to Australia, making their first appearance on my blog audience listing. Hey, did you guys actually like Steve Irwin, or was he kind of annoying, like he's your Kim Kardashian? 

Too soon?